Two gifts...

I saw my cousin Heather recently at her little brother's wedding reception which was really great since I haven't seen her in years and years (we've both taken our turns living out of Utah). She totally surprised me and knocked my socks off with one of the most amazing gifts I've ever received. Well... see for yourself...

She made me this darling custom floor mat for Baby Gray! Holy smokes! I was really touched by this. As someone who also likes to make handmade gifts I was just blown away at the detail and the amount of time I'm sure it took her to do this. And the tree with the initials and birds nest!! Right up my alley...

 

Seriously, I feel very undeserving of such a gift. But whether I deserve it or not... we have been loving it!

She told me that she started it when I was pregnant with Clayton. Then when we lost him she put it away and held onto it for all these years until we announced we were expecting again. That made me get all teary, knowing that she had started it for him and finished it for this baby. Thank you again Heather, so very very much!

Heather also gave me a second gift that night that I don't know if she was aware she was even giving to me. You see, we got into a little argument around the time that Baby Gray was born. I think it's fair to say that we never "came around" to the other persons point of view. We both sort of stood our ground and didn't see eye to eye and we both left that situation with our feelings hurt. I had not seen Heather for years but really I hadn't talked to her much since this situation happened. I was excited to see her and meet some of her kids that I hadn't met yet, but I was also a little nervous as to how our interaction would be with this having happened.

Heather greeted me at the wedding with a smile and a hug. We sat and chit chatted for a long time. It was SO GOOD to see her! But more than that it was so good to not feel a rift in our friendship. It was such a gift to feel like it was okay, we were moving on and not going to let this dampen our relationship. That was an amazing gift that she also gave me. The gift of letting bygones be bygones. The gift of forgiveness and moving on. It was such a wonderful night and I needed that small little tender mercy in my life right then.

So thank you dear cousin, for knowing my taste so well and making this darling floor mat. Thank you for your friendship, your forgiveness, and your example.

Family picture ornaments...

 I like to have a family picture taken every year of my little family. It doesn't have to be anything fancy, most of the time we just have a friend snap a few pictures with my point and shoot camera. Just something, with all of us looking reasonably presentable, in the same picture... once a year. Not too bad right? We've been able to do it ever since Blue was 2 months old, and I love looking at how we have all changed a little over the years. I've been trying to find a way to display them around Christmas time since I haven't been the best at getting cute Christmas cards made every year. I thought it might be fun to make ornaments for our tree out of the pictures so that we can pull them out and look at them every year.

They were pretty simple to make! This is by no means a tutorial, but here are the supplies that I used:

 

I found some wooden rectangles at Hobby Lobby (4 in the pack for $1.49) and printed out wallet sized pictures (I had to get two of each... so now I have lots of extras!). I stained the wood because I love the whole darker wood look, and just mod podged the pictures onto the wooden tags. I then drilled a small hole in the top and laced some bakers twine to hang them from.

I wanted to use my wood burning tool to put the year of the photo on the back but it wasn't working so well. I ended up using a white paint pen and just writing the year on each one.

I have to say I LOVE how they turned out!!!

 

Here is our shot from this year. Can you believe this gorgeous "forest" is just two blocks away from our house? 

 

Easy project that didn't take very much time that I will treasure. I'm still working on getting my tree all decorated, but it makes me so happy to see these when I walk past the tree.

Thirty...

Cuddling my boys... my last day being 29.

 

I spent the last few days of my twenties in one of the most beautiful places in the world. Golden leaves, crisp air, dirt roads, and snow!!! It was pretty cold the first few days but then everything melted and the beautiful fall scenery came out.

I've come to terms with the fact that my birthday falls on the deer hunt every year. Instead of being mad that my husband is totally preoccupied with hunting that week, I try to go along so that Trent doesn't have to pick between me and the hunt. I get to enjoy being in a place that I love and relax while he goes and does his thing during the day. We weren't really able to go out and do too many walks/hikes like I had hoped because I didn't want the baby to get too cold. Instead we sat around the fire in the cabin and mostly cuddled Baby G while the kids played.

I found my thoughts centering around my life, this stage in my life, and the fact that I was turning the big 30 that weekend. Ahhhh.... thirty. I'm happy to be thirty. I guess I feel like I should really be an adult now... or something like that. I've been thinking about what I want my life to be like in my thirties as opposed to what they were like in my twenties.

Two things seem to hit home the most. The first is that I spent most of my twenties longing for babies. Longing to be a mother. One of my biggest challenges in my twenties was getting these boys here to our family. I've spent the last four years of my life hoping/longing/pleading to have another baby. And here he is... I have this beautiful boy in my arms. Such a weight has been lifted from my heart. I'm relieved that I wont be longing for a baby this year. That I will be taking care of a baby instead.

 

With that comes the second thing... I've been pretty sad and depressed while longing for this baby. I haven't taken care of my body the way that I should have. I justified a lot of poor choices (yes I mean food choices) because I was trying to fill a big void in my life. With just having a baby and turning 30 I'm finding myself really wanting to take better care of my body. I'm not the young 24 year old I was when I had Blue and I can already tell I'm going to have to work a lot harder to get this baby weight off. I guess I'm accepting that I'm getting a bit older and I need to make healthy eating a bigger priority.

Because I now have two boys who call me mom, and they deserve the very best of me...

 

So our weekend in a sentence... Husband got his deer, I turned 30, Blue built his first snowman of the season, and Baby G did his first 7 hour stretch of sleeping. Life is good! Life is full of beautiful things right now. Thirty is going to be great... I can feel it!



My own bouquet...

I've been overwhelmed at how truly amazing people have been since we had our baby. We have been poured upon with presents, dinners, service... it has been a beautiful thing to feel so loved by so many people around us. I've just been amazed as to how giving and loving people are. We've been really blessed, and it has been so nice to be able to sit back and take care of my baby while other people have helped take care of us.

I wanted to share this sweet card that I got from my cousin after we had the baby. Sometimes the gifts that touch our hearts the most are the ones that are so simple, yet hold so much meaning. She gave me this little tiny picture...

Once upon a time I poured my heart into this post about white daisies and the meaning that they have to me. She said that she thought about getting me a bouquet of daisies but she wanted to give me one that would last. I cherish this little card of white daisies. The thing I have longed for the most for so many years is finally in my arms.

I've been on a super emotional roller coaster ride this last month. The lack of sleep, the not feeling well, recovering from the birth, and then the realization that I really do have a baby. It's been hard, but it's been so worth it. We are so grateful to have this little boy here. Sometimes I want to pinch myself, because I can't believe that it really worked out, that we really have a baby. It's been surreal.

June...

June was a whirlwind... there was so much going on, I can't believe it's already over.

... First off, we went on a little trip to see my brother Nate and his wife Nicole up in Idaho. I feel bad that they have lived there for two years and this is the first time that we have made it up to see them. It was fun to see where they live and what their lives are like up there.

Little Blue was completely glued to Nicole's hip. He calls her Princess Nicole ;). I told her to just enjoy it while it lasts. They took us to a little amusement park there and the only one he wanted to ride the rides with was her. She was a super good sport!

We went on a gorgeous drive to Driggs and saw the west side of the Tetons. So beautiful up there! I wish we could have stayed longer and spent more time up there.

We even went on a little hike to find this waterfall. It about did me in... but oh well! It was worth it!

... Our trip ended early so we could make it back to celebrate and honor Trent's grandpa who passed away on June 10th. Trent has always been very close to his grandparents. Part of the reason why we felt very strongly to move back to Utah a year and a half ago was so that we could spend some more time with his grandparents before they passed on. I'm so glad we've had this time with his grandpa and I feel good about the things we've tried to help them with in the last while. It has been sweet to see the little relationship that Blue had developed with his great-grandpa.

Both my boys get their big blue eyes from this man. He will be very missed but we are glad he has moved on and is no longer suffering in his earthly body.

 ... We went to the small town Peoa Stampede this month and Blue got to participate in the children's rodeo. It was so much fun, we'll have to do it again next year. They were giving away chickens, bunnies, kitties to whoever could run up to them/catch them first (thankfully he did not win any of those). He also caught fish in the big fish pond with his bare hands, and mutton busted! We really wanted him to try that but he was super hesitant. He ended up doing it, but was on for such a short time I could get a picture of him on the sheep. Here he is just after in the middle with his metal that he's so proud of.

... We've been watching our garden grow and trying to stay on top of the weeds. I love that things grow so well here. It's pretty amazing to plant such tiny seeds and watch the plants grow so big! I'm starting to feel a little overwhelmed with everything that we've planted, and haven't been the best gardener, but hopefully come fall when it's time to pick I will be able to enjoy the time out in the garden with our new baby by my side. I guess we will see how it all works out then.

 

 

... My sister Carly left last week on an LDS mission to Minnesota! She is the first of us four girls in our family to go on a mission. I'm sure it will be a huge change and a lot of hard work, but I'm excited to see how she grows through this experience.

 



... Last weekend we went up to Strawberry Reservoir and camped overnight and caught crawdad's and had our annual crawdad boil with Trent's extended family. I only took one picture of the whole trip and it was of this beautiful meadow that we drove by searching for firewood.

After one night of camping and spending the whole day out in the sun by the lake I think I'm ready to just sit inside and soak up the AC for the next two months till this baby is born! A mixture of heat and eating junk food (meaning pop... so bad for you) I swelled up like a balloon. Not fun! Thankfully two days of junk detox and lots of water I'm feeling much better and the swelling has gone away.

I know that the summer is still young, and I don't want to be a poor sport, but after such a full and busy June I'm ready to lay low... take it easy and just simplify a little until the baby is born. I'm not loving feeling so worn out all the time. So I think I will just pull up my chair by this meadow (metaphorically at least) and take it a little easier for the time being.

In other news...

I have one more bean recipe that I want to share... but in the meantime I felt like sharing something else instead tonight...

WE'RE GOING TO HAVE A BABY!!!

We are expecting a baby BOY at the end of the summer!! I'm due August 30th and am 14 weeks right now, and starting to look a little "questionable, so I thought it would be a good time to share our news. I'm still in a little shock that we already know it's a boy, but I guess it's just more time to prepare right? 

We are all over the moon excited about this. Especially little Spiderman there, who really wanted to have a little brother. I'm just feeling super grateful and blessed that our fertility efforts worked, and that we are finally going to be having another baby. 

I'm also excited to share this news with all of you!! So many of you have been so incredibly supportive to our family over the past few years. It feels good to finally have some great news to share with everyone!!

And now that I'm out of my first trimester coma... hopefully I will be around this space more!

Wendover + a memorial...

We went out to Wendover last night to celebrate the would be 61st birthday of my mother in law. She passed away 11 years ago to lung cancer and left behind a great legacy with her 11 children.

She loved doing things with her family. One of the things that she loved to do was drive out to Wendover and eat at the seafood buffet. This was actually the last outing that she did with her family before she passed away. They had gone out to the buffet on a Friday night, and she died a day and a half later on Sunday morning. One of her kids said last night that it was a good example of who their mom was, that even though she was feeling awful and was so close to dying she still wanted to go and have a good time with her kids.

Trent and I sent out a text to all his siblings a few weeks ago with the idea to go to the buffet for her birthday and all of her kids but one (who lives far, far away) were able to come! One had to drive a crossed the state to be there and another flew in from Colorado... but they made it. I think that's amazing!  So 16 of us piled in vans and made it out to the buffet.

I'm so grateful for this family. I'm grateful that I get to be a part of it. Something that I really love and appreciate about my in laws is that even though they are all soooooo different, have very different personalities, beliefs, ideals about life, priorities... the still get along and love each other. I think it's a rare thing for 11 siblings to still be all friends, and to be accepting and loving of each other even though they have grown up and changed as adults. They have taught me a lot about love and acceptance, and have been great examples to me on this. Sure they argue and fight and butt heads from time to time... but they forgive and that is a true gift.

 Here are the boys... minus my husband who had already disappeared to go gambling...

 The girls... seven sisters plus me!

Here are my 7 sister in laws, minus Sarah who couldn't come. I love these girls. I'm so grateful for them. They have been good friends to me and I appreciate that. There are times that it's been hard for me to hang out with these girls... I'm just going to come out and be honest and say that I'm not perfect and I have a hard time being around girls swimming in babies sometimes. And well... I married into the most fertile family in the world (aside from the Duggars... seriously!). In the past 3 1/2 years since we've lost Clayton there have been 10 babies born in Trents family with a set of twins and a set of triplets in there. That's a lot of babies!!! I know that there have been times when I have not been a real peach to be around, and I appreciate that they have been patient with me, and understanding and have waited for me to come around on my terms. I love them, and all their babies, and I'm grateful that they are in my life. These girls have become my best friends and I am happy to be a part of their lives.

I have to say that the few hours we spent in the casino made me not miss this side of Vegas very much ;). Funny that anytime we went to a movie, bowling, out to a good restaurant we had to go through a casino. It was just a part of life out there, and one that I am fine without! But we did have fun playing the penny slots, and only lost $3 total by the time we made it out the door. I think that's pretty good odds!

Someone got a little lucky with this roll... oh the excitement!

It was a really fun night with my in laws! Trent's mom passed away after we had been on two dates, so I never met her. But even though I've never met her I feel like I have a good idea of who she is, what she was like, what was important in her life. I think that when the day comes that I get to meet her that I will recognize her and know her, because I've spent my life with her awesome kids! She has left a piece of her with each of her children and they are beautiful people each in their own way.

Thankful tree...

 This week for family night we made a Thankful tree. First off, we are not very good at doing family night. We can probably count on one hand the number of times that we've done that this year. It's hard when the three of us do just about everything together everyday... but we're trying to be better. This was the perfect activity for such a night though.

First I found some branches outside that had fallen down in the snowstorm. Then I cut little leaves out of some brown paper sacks. Then I cut little strips of fabric from my stash that were fallish colors to tie the leaves to the branches. This activity was free... which is my favorite kind!

We sat down and wrote out what we were each thankful for on our little leaves. The boy drew pictures since he can't write yet.

Then we tied them all up to the branches...

Not bad little tree, not bad.

We have some left over in little buckets by the tree in case we come up with some more in the next week that we want to add. My favorite are the boy's. Here he is thankful for our house, and snowmen...

Mom (melts my heart that he can spell out Mom).

Last but not least, bouncy balls.

Shop Hop...

My sister in law's are awesome!! I am a lucky girl who gets to have 8 sister in law's on my husband's side and they are so much fun to hang out with.

They like to do this thing every year called the Shop Hop. It's a quilt shop thing where there are 13 shops across the Wasatch front that are involved. There is a theme and each shop gets all decorated and has drawings, free quilt patterns, etc, etc.

So the point of the shop hop is to visit each of the shops and get your paper stamped, and when you get all 13 stamps you get to be in their big drawing. They give you 4 days to visit all the shops.

We did it in one day. Yes, we did.

13 shops from Logan to Springville in one day. It took about 11 hours.

And here are my lovely sister in laws who are always up for a good adventure. Just 4 of us were able to do it plus some of the younger girlies. I'm sure they love that I took a picture of them and am putting it on my blog. Here we are about halfway through the day on our crazy shop hop adventure!

We made it to the last shop about 20 minutes before closing. We totally did it in one day! Crazy! I felt crazy, like the amazing race but quilt shop style. It was a lot of fun. And I got all my stamps...

I wanted to do it so that I could spend some good quality time with my sister in laws. Also, it's nice to see the different quilting stores around and get ideas for projects. Like I mentioned before I'm getting geared up to work on my hexagon quilt and so I looked at all the different yellow fabrics that they had at the different stores and picked up some great pieces.



These fabrics make me happy! They look so fun together. It was a fun day and a long day. I haven't heard if I won anything yet, but it was fun to get out and see all the cute shops!

Happiness...

I've been feeling a little down lately. I know that happiness is a choice and regardless of our circumstances we have the choice of how we will react and what our attitude is. But I still find myself having a hard time being happy when life feels so so so hard.

We finally had a great lead on a job for my husband. One that would be so perfect for him and our family. It was looking like things were going to work out and they seemed to really like him. But as the weekend approached the story changed, and it's not looking so hopeful anymore. I'm pretty heartbroken about it.

That among a few other mountains standing directly in front of me have left me feeling pretty sad. I'm trying hard to reach deep and find some joy in my heart to buoy up my spirits.

Despite taking a few steps back this weekend we went on a little excursion with our family, and found ourselves at the base of a volcano. It was a beautiful day, with blue skies and the warm sun shining down on us. And I think for about one hour this weekend I just soaked up the world around me and left my worries at the head of the trail. We took our nieces and nephews up the volcano.

We started out the hike pushing my triplet nieces and nephew in the stroller but soon found it would be much easier to carry them. I have to say I've never hiked while carrying a baby before. It was wonderful!

We left the babies and my sister's in law when the hike became more of a hike than a walk, and my husband and I took the other 5 kids up to the top.

Here we are at the top! When I saw this picture I thought, "Wow... look how happy I am!" and I was. I haven't been hiking in a long time which is something that I really love to do. Spending time outside doing something physical with the sun shining down on you really is healing to ones soul.

My goal is to make this smiling face the norm around here, not the rare exception. My plan is to spend the day counting my blessings and finding joy in my life instead of dwelling on the setbacks. To try to view the way things work out as a redirection to something that could be even better. Here is my list so far...

1- My husband remains so positive regardless of discouragement which is such a blessing. He is my rock.
2- He did start a temporary nursing job today which is such a huge blessing. It's just for a short time and doesn't offer any type of benefits but it will give him experience and it's something!
3- My in laws are rockstars and I'm pretty sure I owe them my life for how much they have helped us.
4- That I have a spunky little boy who climbed into bed with me today and told me he thinks blankets should be called "huggy buggies" and asked for a gorilla cheese sandwich for lunch.
5- That we are all healthy.
6- That my hair gets longer everyday.
7- The knowledge that I can "cast my burdens on the Lord and trust in his constant care" which I am trying to do everyday.

Here's to hope... and happiness.

hat + leg warmers...

I love seeing cute babies wearing things that I made for them.

This is my sisters darling boy... We like our babies chubby in this family!