I resolve... to live.

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There are so many different changes I would like to make and goals I would like to accomplish that it leaves my head spinning to think about it. I have a long way to go to be the person that I want to be... that's for sure. But one thing that keep coming to mind is that I don't feel like I'm really living my life. I feel like I'm letting life live me (if that makes any sense). I'm not molding my life to be what I want, I'm letting other people and situations mold it all for me. I used to be really spontaneous and up for adventure. Not so much anymore. I've fallen into a rut over the past few years and I've somehow decided that it's easier and safer to just sit back and do... well, not much. I do far more going through the motions that actual "living" and that is something that I want to change.

 

So instead of setting resolutions I wanted to pick one word that I can focus on this year. And that word is LIVE.

 

Not just exist. Not just shuffle around my life, but live.

 

So what does this mean to me? This means that instead of being the last person to roll out of bed and wish for the next hour that I was still sleeping (it happens almost everyday), I want to welcome each day as a chance to really live my life! Wake up happy to greet my family. Make good, healthy food instead of directing them to pour their own cold cereal. Plan fun adventures for us, instead of just sitting on the couch and watching TV. Getting outside whenever we can and living life in nature. Opening my curtains and letting the light in instead of worrying about who might see in my windows. Having a good attitude about what we are doing and actually plan fun things to do.

 

Yesterday was the first of the year and I was already able to put my "live" mantra into action. Trent had the day off and wanted to go ice fishing. I have to admit that ice fishing isn't my favorite activity to do because I really hate being super cold. But I decided to try and make it a fun family outing and to not complain/sit in the car/wish I was somewhere else the whole time. So we all bundled up and made our way up to the frozen lake. We all climbed down the hill and sat around the poles waiting for the fish to bite. It was beautiful. Yes it was cold but not too bad at all. Sure it would have been easier to just stay home and send Trent and Blue up there, because really there are more comfortable places to breast feed a baby than sitting on a bucket on a frozen lake. Or it would have been easier to just sit in the car with the baby... but I reminded myself that I want to live, not just exist.

 

 

 

 In order to get onto the ice we all had to cross this... Oy!

 

It turned out to be such a beautiful day. Surrounded by the beautiful earth. Spending time with my loved ones and making memories with them. I'm so glad that I did it.

 

I plan on putting the word "live" somewhere that I will see it everyday to remind me of my goal, and what I would like my focus to be this year. Hopefully each day, and by the end of the year, I will have lots of great experiences and memories and feel more fulfilled in my life. I wont be able to look back at the year and think, "Man that went by fast. What did I do again this year?"

 

Like I said, there is a lot I would like to change and do this year, but it all boils down to really living my life with purpose and intent, and to not let life live me. 

I resolve...

to not make any resolutions this year...



WHAT!?!?!?

This is so not like me, to not make any resolutions. I love setting goals, making resolutions, checking things off my to do list, trying to accomplish everything and anything.

Turns out I'm still sort of burned out from the list I made from last year.

The more I think about my life right now and the things that I want to accomplish in life the more I realized that I need to learn to be content with who I am and where I am right now. Not always trying to make things better, make myself better, make my surrounding better, my life better. But to just accept who I am right this second and realize that I don't have to do anything great and wonderful to be of worth. That I don't have to set up unrealistic expectations of myself and then push myself to finish them. I just sort of want to be right now...

So I guess that is my resolution, to not make a resolution. To let January start and not jump on whatever horse I think I should be riding at the time. But to just wake up each morning and breath. Enjoy my boys, enjoy my days, and let them form themselves into whatever they have in store for me. To not rule my life by deadlines or expectations. But to just be happy with who I am and what I have right now. To not always be looking to finish a project or a deadline because I think that's what I'm suppose to do.

Ahhh... I feel better already.

I don't have a great link for this picture. Sorry. I found it here.

I resolve - January...

I started out the year fixing a dress that I already owned that was too short. I have only worn this dress twice because it really was too short for me and I wasn't very comfortable in it. This dress has sentimental value to me, it's the dress that I wore to my sons burial, so I didn't want to throw it out. I decided to make it into a skirt so that it would be wearable.

Just for the record, I like it a whole lot better as a dress, but it sat in my closet unworn. I wanted to add some fabric to the bottom to make it longer but I wasn't able to find any that looked good with it. I ended up measuring the length, cutting it off, and making a waistband out of the top part of the dress, and sewing them together. I added a zipper and  hook and eye on the side.

It was really simple to get it put together. Now it's functional and cute! I'm sure I will be wearing this a lot more now that it's long enough and I feel like I can move around in it.

I resolve - 2011...

I am very excited for this year's New Year's Resolution! The idea came a few weeks ago when I was sitting at church. I looked down at my favorite denim skirt that I wear almost every week... Why do I wear this skirt every week? Because I love denim... and it fits me! Yes, my closet is severely lacking in the skirt department right now. I have a lot of skirts/dresses that I wore before I became a mom, but they have just never fit the same since. Well, it's time to remedy this situation don't you think?

My New Year's Resolution for 2011 is to...

Sew a new skirt or dress every other month.

I wish I could commit to every month, but I really want to do this so I'm cutting myself a little slack here. I think every other month is very doable, and I'm sure some months I might be able to do an extra one.

I'm so excited for this! Mainly because when I first learned to sew it was sewing clothes. I used to make myself dresses and skirts in high school and I really loved it. I've sort of fallen away from sewing clothes and really sew more blankets and such now. So I'm excited to get back into sewing from a pattern, button holes, zippers, lining, the whole nine yards!!!

I've already got the first skirt all figured out! I can't wait to get started...

What's your resolution for 2011?

December...

I felt bad that I hadn't bought a cute pair of heels all year... for the husband you know! So I went ahead and got some for December. I'm planning on wearing them out this weekend when we celebrate our 8th wedding anniversary. I think he'll like them...

Well... I didn't quite stick to my New Year's resolution of buying a new pair of shoes every month. While I think it was an awesome resolution, and I really liked the purpose I had behind it, I proved to be true to myself and had a really hard time spending money on myself every month of the year on shoes ;). I did however, end up with five cute new pairs of shoes this year which I am happy about!

September...

I went back to work full time this month for the first time since my little guy was born almost three years ago. My husband is doing a very intense accelerated nursing program for the next year so it was pretty necessary and I'm grateful to have found a good job. I needed to get some "comfortable" black shoes to wear for work. I've always wanted to own a pair of Toms, and I figured these would be great for my job.

Well... they would be if they had more of a sole. They are super comfortable, but when you are standing on a tile floor for 10 hours straight... they just don't make the cut. So they will have to be my comfortable shoes to wear when I'm not at work.

I still love them though! I would love to get another pair sometime, maybe the yellow cord ones. Those are adorable.

May...

I didn't get any new shoes in April. Both husband and son got new shoes in April so I'm more than okay with that ;).

I bought some adorable yellow flats a few years ago that I practically lived in. I loved them so much! But then I walked through some wet grass and ruined my leather yellow shoes. So I've been on the lookout for some simple yellow flats that I can wear a lot and not worry too much about them getting ruined.

Target saved the day. $12.99 for these flats. They have a bunch of other cute colors too that I am so tempted to get. I really like these shoes. If I were to order them again though I would have gone a half size larger, they run a little snug for me.

March...

I love a good flat...

And this spring weather is making me happy.

Not to mention I'm trying to get more in touch with my feminine side.

So there you have it, pretty pink flats for March.

I love spring...

I resolve...

Yes... I know that it's almost the end of February.

However... I still want to talk about my New Year's resolution!

You see, I'm a big BIG resolution kind of a girl. I love them! I can't remember a year that has gone by that I did not make a bunch of really good resolutions and stick to them.

Until now that is... I had some good ones last year. I was going to do my 72 hour kits, food storage, organize every closet in my house, get a filing cabinet and do a full filing system (okay, I got this one done, but that's it)... the list goes on.

Then because of this and this, I pretty much spent the year in bed.

I'm still in bed, who am I kidding! I've been trying to think of something that I could "resolve" to do this year that would be fun, not something that will nag at me to get done all year. Seeing that I will be spending the next few months of my life being and recovering from being a "cancer patient" I wanted to go a little easy on myself.

So here it is... my New Year's Resolution for 2010...

I'm going to buy a new pair of shoes every month.

That's it folks. That's my resolution. I think that it's a great one! Why? Well, I'm the kind of girl who usually owns three pairs of shoes... black sandals, brown sandals, and flip flops. I usually never indulge in something like a cute pair of shoes. I have a hard time buying things for myself and end up feeling like I never put my own wants first, or even second, or even at all. So here's to indulging in myself for a little bit. I'm super excited. I'm already lagging a bit because I didn't buy any for January, but that's okay. These cute black flats are for February. Love them.

Here's to turning a new leaf...

Be good to me 2010, but if your not... at least I'll have cute shoes!