I wrote a review of this book here over the summer when I first read it. I love recommending this book to my friends and family members who are having babies and I love hearing the different insights that they gain from it.
I've been thinking the last little while about what it really is that makes me love this book so much. And there is a line from the hymn As Sister's in Zion that keeps coming back to me...
The errand of angels is given to women.
In my experience of having babies, losing babies, bed rest, infertility, and postpartum recovery I have been so very, very blessed by many angels. Sometimes it's been friends who are near and dear to me and other times it's been women who have come out of the woodwork and been absolute miracles in my life. There have also been some very sacred times where it has been women spirits who I can not see but I have felt their calming influence as I've gone on my own journey of womanhood and motherhood.
When I had my first son I had just moved to Las Vegas and really did not have any friends or family around. I remember being completely unprepared for childbirth and feeling incredibly alone. To demonstrate how unprepared I was I remember driving to the hospital because I was going to be induced (sure why not!) and thinking, "Well, I'm not sure how this is really going to go down but somehow I will leave with a baby in my arms." And I did leave with a baby in my arms after having a C-section, which had never even crossed my mind as a possibility. No one in my family had ever had a C-section so why would I? Little did I know then that a C-section has less to do with family history and more to do with the interventions that happened during my labor. (Just for the record...I'm not sharing these thoughts because I think C-sections are bad, they definitely have their place! But this was my reaction and feelings to having one for my first birth experience). I remember going into recovery and calling my sister on the phone and just sobbing to her about how upset I was that this had happened. My sweet sister sobbed with me. I will never forget that moment, and that she had empathized with me and helped me shoulder that sadness in my first few moments as a mother.
I stayed in the hospital for four days without a single visitor other than my husband. I felt very, very alone. On the final day of my stay my one friend in town came by to see my baby. I was so grateful for her being there! I was grateful to have another female to be with me. Another mom who was there for support. She was an angel to me that day.
Not only had I not really mentally prepared for child birth as I should have, I didn't really spiritually prepare either. I had an easy pregnancy and possibly felt like I didn't really need to call on my Father in Heaven so much to prepare for this role in life because things were humming along so well. Isn't it interesting how sometimes it's when things are harder in life that we really turn to the Lord, but when things are pretty easy we feel a little more independent from our Father?
The birth of my second son was very different. I had problems from the very beginning. I had a wild and crazy one year old boy running a muck in the house while I was on bed rest for four months. Prayer was a constant for me. Petitions that this boy would be okay, that I would be able to carry him to term and things would work out. Women that I did not know started trickling into my life. Meals, offering to take my son for an afternoon... I almost didn't know how to react because I had been so independent in doing it all by myself for so long. Unfortunately at 21 weeks my water broke and my body could no longer support this pregnancy or this tiny boy. We went to the hospital and labor started soon after. It was only myself and my husband who were in the room when this little boy was born. The hospital staff was off preparing for a C-section (since I had one already...) when he made his entrance into this world. But as I laid on the bed and saw our one pound baby boy I realized that the room was filled. I could feel that my bed was surrounded by female spirits. I think back to that moment as one of the most sacred moments in my life. That at one of the darkest hours in my existence, one where I would birth my son alive and then watch him die... that I would not be alone. I am so grateful for those women. I'm not sure who they are (though I have a few guesses) but I look forward to the day that I can give them a hug and say thank you for being there for me. I'm grateful that I was able to feel the errand of those heavenly angels.
Eight months ago I was able to give birth to a third son. This boy comes after four years of sadness, heartache, illness, and road block after road block of trying to grow our family. He is my sweet rainbow baby and I am so grateful for him. I had longed for another baby for so long and many times I felt like this longing would never be fulfilled. I spent the entire time of my pregnancy preparing for his coming. I did all that I could do to prepare for a VBAC. I prepared by finding a health care provider whom I trusted and believed would help me on this journey. I prepared each day with my hypno-babies sound tracks. I prepared by reading The Gift of Giving Life, and for the first time tried to really encompass and understand just how spiritual a birth could be. That I was being blessed with an amazing gift, to be a woman and to be a mother, and I did not want to take this for granted in any way. I prepared by gathering my tribe of women around me who knew what I had been through and would take this journey with me and help give me strength. I was so very blessed to have found a few amazing women who have become some of my closest friends. I believe that Heavenly Father placed these women in my life because he knew that they would be the angels that would rejoice with me in this great miracle.
One of these angels was my dear friend Rachelle (who is Robyn's sister, one of the co-authors of The Gift of Giving Life). She was able to be my doula for this birth. Another was my friend Sacha who is one of the most joyful people I have ever met. These two ladies wanted to give me a mother's blessingway to prepare for the birth. I wasn't really sure about it (I had never been to one before) but they insisted! Timing wasn't working out with finding a date to do the blessingway and we almost pushed it back to right by my due date. But Sacha insisted that we do it soon! So at 35 weeks and 5 days pregnant we had a very small and intimate night with some of the angels that had been surrounding me during this pregnancy. I've never felt so spoiled by love and friendship before. We spent the night eating yummy healthy food, honoring motherhood and celebrating this little spirit that would be entering the world. Each lady brought a bead or charm to make me a birthing necklace. We all cried as the wishes and blessing that went with the beads were read. Each one was so personal to me and it made me feel so much strength and faith.
The very next day I was admitted to the hospital for some complications. And at 35 weeks and 6 days I was able to give birth to my sweet baby boy (birth story here). I didn't have time to pack a hospital bag, so Rachelle stopped by my house and grabbed a few necessary items that I wanted for the birth. She grabbed all the beads and charms that I had been gifted and put them on a chain and I was able to wear it when I delivered my boy.
my mess of charms around my neck as I first met my new son...
Once again I felt a heavenly presence in the room as I gave birth to this boy as I had been feeling in the weeks that lead to this birth. Women who had been helping me prepare spiritually and physically from their heavenly home for this event to take place. I loved wearing my birth necklace and felt strength and love as I thought of my friends who were praying for us and eager to be a part of this time in our life. Many woman helped me recover from this difficult birth by bringing meals, taking my older boy, sort through baby clothes, supply us with diapers, wipes, baby clothes, essential oils for healing for months (I still have yet to buy a pack of wipes for this baby). We have been surrounded and carried by women who were busy with their errands for us...
I have learned so much in the births of my three boys. But one of the greatest lessons that I learned is that by opening my heart and home to some amazing women, my life has been greatly blessed. I don't have to be alone on this road of motherhood. Heavenly Father has given us the gift of sisterhood to help us all through this calling.
.... and this is a gift that as sisters we claim.
As much as I have been blessed by many angels I hope to be able to be an angel in the lives of others when they are in need of my support and my love.
So again, back to why I love this book so much... it's the errand of the women who put this book together. It's the stories that are shared that remind us that whatever our situation is Heavenly Father and Heavenly Mother love us and are so mindful of us. That wherever we are in our lives as women we don't have to feel alone. However we come to picking up this book and thumbing through the pages we can feel the love of our Heavenly Father and the reminder of our amazing calling as women on this earth. We can find stories of others who have walked similar paths to ours and remember just how amazing and miraculous our bodies are in bringing children into the world.
"The errand of angels is given to women; and this is a gift that, as sisters, we claim: to do whatsoever is gentle and human, to cheer and to bless in humanity's name."
** Read more about Mother Centered Baby Showers (pg. 155) and Surrounded by Angels (pg. 171) in The Gift of Giving Life.
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