Nature walk - Black Rock 2/23/2014

Something that we like to do as a family is go on nature walks. I don't know what it is but nature just peaks to me in a way that nothing else does. I love being outside and with the beautiful creations that God has made. Something that I love about these nature walks that we do are all the different things that can be found in new environments. Different rocks, sand, trees, colors! So much beauty around!

I've noticed that little Blue has become quite the rock collector. Always filling his pockets with pretty rocks that he finds. I had an idea a little bit ago as to how we could capture some of the beauty from our nature walks instead of filling our pockets with rocks.

This is the first in hopefully a long and beautiful series of nature walks. What we are going to do is collect the different pieces and textures of nature wherever we are exploring that day, and take a picture of them on a white board. Then we can leave the rocks, leaves, feathers where they belong but still take home a piece of our walk with us. I'm planning on having these nature walk pictures printed and lining the hall of our home someday. Great memories for sure!

We did our first nature walk that we collected things on about a month ago. We stopped out at the Black Rock on the south side of the Great Salt Lake. Blue has asked several times if we could stop there so he could climb to the top so we finally did! But first, here is our collection from our adventure and then a few pictures from the trip.

 

 

 

The big boys made it to the top while I stayed back with sleeping Gray.

Projects Connect...

My friend Nora had a great idea this year that I am happy to be a part of! She has asked several women (I believe there are 42ish involved) to have a goal each month to accomplish and then put up on a blog called Projects Connect 2014. It's all about setting goals, finding our happiness, spending more time doing what we really love with intention, and cheering each other on throughout the year. Sounds good to me!

On the 4th of every month this year I will be over there blogging about my goal for the month. So head on over if you are interested! I started out January tackling my filing cabinet craziness... and I'm feeling super accomplished to have it done!

My monthly list of goals is here. Thanks Nora for the adventure and opportunity!

Kitchen shelf...

We don't have a lot of storage space in our kitchen and we've had to get creative to find places to put everything. There is a strange empty space behind the kitchen door that I had been thinking about putting a shelve in for a while, but this was back when I was super pregnant and dreaming more than doing.

I mentioned this to my husband just before we had the baby. Then one day when I was laying in bed with Baby Gray I heard some loud banging in the kitchen.

Trent said he had found a shelve at the DI that was perfect for this spot in the kitchen. "Oh no..." I thought. You see, Trent and I have very different ideas about decorating and furniture. I try not to be too big of a pain about it, but I really like things to look nice. I'm really picky about what shade of wood we have in the house (it has to be dark or painted white) and I had something really specific in mind that I wanted to do, which I hadn't talked to him about yet.... So I was pretty sure that this perfect shelf was going to be interesting.

I wandered out to see the shelf when he was done and when I first saw it I burst into tears...

Yes, the "perfect" shelf he found was one of those 1990 heart cutout shelves. Oh man! I felt bad for crying, but hello! I had just had a baby and was super emotional/not feeling well yet. And it was on the wall, all set up before I could even say anything about it. (I'm sorry if I have offended anyone who loves the heart shelf... it's just not my style, and you are welcome to have it, but you have to come before garbage day on Tuesday). I love how sweet and thoughtful Trent was to do this for me, and it has been super great to have a place to put these things. I'm not trying to sound like an ungrateful wife here (though I'm sure I sort of do), but I just didn't love the style.

Just for the record the next time I walked past the shelf I burst out laughing hysterically. I mean come on... those hearts! Talk about mood swings...

So we have lived with the lovely heart shelf for six months now, and I feel like I gave it a good try. But I really do cringe a little when I see it. I spend so much time in the kitchen, I want it to look nice (or my style of nice at least). Part of  my purpose this year is to live, not just exist. So I no longer wanted to "live" with the heart shelf.

One trip to IKEA later, here is my new shelf...

 

More modern, and clean lines. I really love it! It has been so handy to have somewhere to put the pots and pans as well as some of our pantry items. I swoon over the whole open shelf idea... maybe I'll add another on top for the flour and stuff. Anyway, maybe it's not that big of a deal or makes that big of a difference, but I love the way this looks so much better.

Someday I will make sure Trent has a wooden/heart shelf in his man cave...

6 months - Baby G{ray}...

Goodness, I can hardly believe this little boy is six months old now! Where has the time gone? It's been so fast, yet it has been slow at the same time. Something about being incredibly sleep deprived for the past six months makes me think... yes, it has been six months... and I need a nap ;).

First off... it's time for this baby of mine to have his official blogging name. He too has blue eyes like his older brother whom we call Blue around here. But he has the most beautiful gray circle around his pupils that is the coolest thing ever... I love it! So Gray it is. Or Baby Gray, either way,

 

Don't mind the cross eyed look. Apparently you go cross eyed when mom has a camera inches away from your face.

 

Seriously, is that not so cool? One of my favorite features on this boy of mine.

About Baby Gray... he is doing so great! Here are a few things about him right now:
:: He loves to babble and talk. Laugh? Not so much. We've only gotten half a giggle out of him so far. I can't wait for those belly baby laughs to erupt at any moment.
:: He still loves bath time the best and being naked in general, but what baby doesn't?
:: Up until about 3 days ago he was exclusively breast fed. We tried rice cereal out on him once around 4 months but I felt like it was too soon. So we have started the rice cereal again and he's getting the hang of it.
:: Sleep... ugh! We are making progress, but it's been a tough one. I'm so glad that I blogged about trying to get Blue to sleep back in the day, because I refer back to that so many times to try and figure out what to do. This boy has started waking up oh 5,6,7,8 times a night. It's so exhausting! So I make the death march to his bed and stick the binky back in... until he spits it out again and starts wailing. He goes down between 7 and 8 PM, and I'm still feeding him twice a night around 1 and 5 and he's up by 7-8 in the morning. I can handle this schedule (though I do wish he would cut down on the night feedings) but it's the other wake ups that I just can't do anymore. So tonight I did something that I've been dreading... I put him to bed without the binky. I love his binky,  he loves the binky, but I can't do it anymore. Time for him to learn to fall asleep without it. I found this awesome blog called Troublesome Tots which is all about baby sleep problems. It's been a life saver this past week as I've tried to figure out what to do. Next thing to conquer, getting him to sleep in his crib. He's still in the rock and play because he loves it and strongly dislikes his crib right now.... maybe this should be it's own post! Sheesh!
:: He can roll over, rolled for the first time on December 20th. But he doesn't like to do it. So he still just cries during tummy time... hopefully someday he sees the benefit to being able to roll!
:: He can almost sit up on his own, much better at sitting than rolling.
:: He is the sweetest little boy and I find myself super emotional all the time (still) that he is ours. We are a lucky family to have him.

Continuous healing...

I dread winter... it's not a very pleasant season for me. One of the side effects from chemo that I have lived with for the past few years is Raynaud's Phenomenon. I wrote about it here (with a picture of what happens to my extremities when it gets cold).

Basically if the temperature drops below 40 degrees my fingers and toes go numb and white and lose circulation. As they warm back up it becomes very painful, like a million little needles poking into my extremities. Then when they are warm... they start to itch, which freaks me out every time because itching is also a sign of the type of cancer that I had. Thus the cycle goes on every winter. It gets cold, I wear socks/gloves/slippers/fur lined boots for months to try and prevent this from occurring. It's annoying for sure, but honestly a small price to pay to have made it through cancer.

So this winter I got all prepared for it. I bought some more wool socks. I even got new gloves. I dug out my house slippers to wear so that my bare feet never touched the cold floor. And guess what?

It never happened...

I have not had this problem at all this winter. Not even once!

I can hardly believe it! I am seriously shocked that it hasn't happened this year. The only thing I can think of as to why it hasn't is that my body is still healing. I'm still healing from the effects of chemo. I'm still getting better. I'm so happy for continuous healing!!! Another possibility is that I've realized that I'm pretty deficient in some vitamins and minerals that I think happened during those sick months too. So I've been taking 2000 IU's of Vitamin D every day and have started Magnesium this winter. Maybe getting these vital nutrients back into my body is helping as well.

So the other day I did the ultimate test. I wore a pair of ballet flats all day long, even with snow on the ground. My toes still stayed rosy pink, something that hasn't happened in four years! I realize that this could be a fluke and maybe next winter it will be back, but I'm so enjoying this right now.

These bodies we have are pretty amazing you know... I'm grateful that mine is still healing and thriving.

Handmade gifts - bread boards...

I love making handmade gifts for Christmas when I can. I decided that this year I wanted to make something that I've been lusting over for quite some time, and that is bread boards! I think they are so beautiful! I would love a stack of worn bread boards sitting on my kitchen counter someday. Here are some pictures I looked at to give me some bread board inspiration:

 

 +

 

 +

 





 +

 

There are a ton more on my kitchen pinterest board if you want more bread board eye candy.

I have to say that I have learned that even though I have a father in law with lots of wood working tools and a very willing husband, I really do get in over my head with these wood projects sometimes. This was one of those times! My husband did most of the work. Turns out I get a little scared of using the band saw and it's hard to work in the garage with a newborn that can't be out there. I'm so grateful that my husband was a good sport and did most of the cutting for me and that I was able to do the sanding and the oiling on my own ;).

But here is my first attempt at making my own bread boards...

Not too shabby! We did two different types of handles, and I loved them both!

We spent an afternoon at MacBeath Hardwood looking at all the different pretty wood they have there. I loved the walnut, but that stuff is so expensive! So we went with this pretty Ash wood.

The board on the left is after I rubbed the food grade safe conditioning oil on it. The other boards are the raw wood. I found some butcher block conditioner at Home Depot that I rubbed them down with once they were all sanded and ready. 

It was a fun project! But a lot more work than I anticipated and could really handle on my own ;). They aren't perfect, but made with lots of love.

I resolve... to live.

+

 

There are so many different changes I would like to make and goals I would like to accomplish that it leaves my head spinning to think about it. I have a long way to go to be the person that I want to be... that's for sure. But one thing that keep coming to mind is that I don't feel like I'm really living my life. I feel like I'm letting life live me (if that makes any sense). I'm not molding my life to be what I want, I'm letting other people and situations mold it all for me. I used to be really spontaneous and up for adventure. Not so much anymore. I've fallen into a rut over the past few years and I've somehow decided that it's easier and safer to just sit back and do... well, not much. I do far more going through the motions that actual "living" and that is something that I want to change.

 

So instead of setting resolutions I wanted to pick one word that I can focus on this year. And that word is LIVE.

 

Not just exist. Not just shuffle around my life, but live.

 

So what does this mean to me? This means that instead of being the last person to roll out of bed and wish for the next hour that I was still sleeping (it happens almost everyday), I want to welcome each day as a chance to really live my life! Wake up happy to greet my family. Make good, healthy food instead of directing them to pour their own cold cereal. Plan fun adventures for us, instead of just sitting on the couch and watching TV. Getting outside whenever we can and living life in nature. Opening my curtains and letting the light in instead of worrying about who might see in my windows. Having a good attitude about what we are doing and actually plan fun things to do.

 

Yesterday was the first of the year and I was already able to put my "live" mantra into action. Trent had the day off and wanted to go ice fishing. I have to admit that ice fishing isn't my favorite activity to do because I really hate being super cold. But I decided to try and make it a fun family outing and to not complain/sit in the car/wish I was somewhere else the whole time. So we all bundled up and made our way up to the frozen lake. We all climbed down the hill and sat around the poles waiting for the fish to bite. It was beautiful. Yes it was cold but not too bad at all. Sure it would have been easier to just stay home and send Trent and Blue up there, because really there are more comfortable places to breast feed a baby than sitting on a bucket on a frozen lake. Or it would have been easier to just sit in the car with the baby... but I reminded myself that I want to live, not just exist.

 

 

 

 In order to get onto the ice we all had to cross this... Oy!

 

It turned out to be such a beautiful day. Surrounded by the beautiful earth. Spending time with my loved ones and making memories with them. I'm so glad that I did it.

 

I plan on putting the word "live" somewhere that I will see it everyday to remind me of my goal, and what I would like my focus to be this year. Hopefully each day, and by the end of the year, I will have lots of great experiences and memories and feel more fulfilled in my life. I wont be able to look back at the year and think, "Man that went by fast. What did I do again this year?"

 

Like I said, there is a lot I would like to change and do this year, but it all boils down to really living my life with purpose and intent, and to not let life live me. 

Christmas decorations...

 Christmas has come and gone... and I can hardly believe it will be 2014 next week! Time has been flying by for us over here.

I didn't do anything to grand for decorations this year. I honestly wasn't sure we would even be able to fit a tree in this space since we have the baby living in the living room. It's been a little tight but we worked it out.

Last year when I pulled out all my decorations for the tree I realized that I really didn't like what I had. When we were first married I wanted to do all red and silver ornaments, so that is what I had. I've since changed my mind and style and when I went to pack up all the tree décor last year I got rid of all my red. All of it! No more red over here! I wasn't able to get done all the new stuff that I wanted too, but I was so much happier with my tree!

I wrapped the tree in burlap this year for the garland. We also picked up some green bulbs (to replace the red ones I got rid of). I had a bunch of "snow" covered pine cones from my wedding reception as well as silver ceramic snowflakes that I've held onto all these years.

I really wanted to make a new tree skirt similar to this one. But alas, I waited way too long to get it started and only had leaves on the front of the skirt. So I just used presents to cover the rest and decided to just put it on the back burner until Christmas was over. The plan is to finish it up before I put it away so that next year I can pull it out and it will be ready to go.

New ornaments that I added were our family picture ornaments, some little bird houses that I painted with a cracked paint affect...

Some twiggy snowflakes (tutorial found here)...

And my favorite are these itty bitty doilies that I found at this shop. I bought a pack of 50 and starched them. They look so great! Like tiny snowflakes all over the tree. I'm tempted to buy another set for next year, or maybe the next size up... so cute!

We still have random ornaments that get collected with time. I'm so much happier with the tree now though! Maybe a few more days until we take it all down...

Family picture ornaments...

 I like to have a family picture taken every year of my little family. It doesn't have to be anything fancy, most of the time we just have a friend snap a few pictures with my point and shoot camera. Just something, with all of us looking reasonably presentable, in the same picture... once a year. Not too bad right? We've been able to do it ever since Blue was 2 months old, and I love looking at how we have all changed a little over the years. I've been trying to find a way to display them around Christmas time since I haven't been the best at getting cute Christmas cards made every year. I thought it might be fun to make ornaments for our tree out of the pictures so that we can pull them out and look at them every year.

They were pretty simple to make! This is by no means a tutorial, but here are the supplies that I used:

 

I found some wooden rectangles at Hobby Lobby (4 in the pack for $1.49) and printed out wallet sized pictures (I had to get two of each... so now I have lots of extras!). I stained the wood because I love the whole darker wood look, and just mod podged the pictures onto the wooden tags. I then drilled a small hole in the top and laced some bakers twine to hang them from.

I wanted to use my wood burning tool to put the year of the photo on the back but it wasn't working so well. I ended up using a white paint pen and just writing the year on each one.

I have to say I LOVE how they turned out!!!

 

Here is our shot from this year. Can you believe this gorgeous "forest" is just two blocks away from our house? 

 

Easy project that didn't take very much time that I will treasure. I'm still working on getting my tree all decorated, but it makes me so happy to see these when I walk past the tree.

Las Vegas...

 I've been aching to go on a road trip back down to Las Vegas for a long time now. A couple of things have happened this last month that sort of spurred a sudden road trip! One was we have a new niece along the way we wanted to meet. Also, we left our adopted 85 year old Jewish grandma Malka there when we left and we told her we would come down for a visit sometime. Trent has lost two of his grandparents in the last four months and I felt like we needed to jump on the opportunity to see her while she is still around! We also wanted to introduce our new baby to the friends that were so amazingly supportive to us while we struggled so much down there. So we decided on a Tuesday to head down on Friday! It was such a great trip! I only wish we would have had more time to see more people down there.

I've missed driving this long drive down the center of Utah. Utah really is such a beautiful place.

First stop were to play with cousins! These three followed Blue everywhere he went and loved playing with him.

Our new little niece/cousin. Blue said, "Mom I hope we get a sweet little baby like this someday..." Ummm... we did, like two months ago ;). He just loves babies!

We found out that Baby G really hates road trips and wanted to be out of his seat!!! He was super cute when we would get him out, and screamed the rest of the way there ;).

 

We only had about 24 hours in Las Vegas, so it was a really quick trip! We meet up with Malka and took her out to dinner at our favorite buffet (The Seasons at The Silverton). As we drove through our old condo complex we told Blue that this was where we lived. He didn't remember it at all! We've only been gone for two years and he was four when we moved so I thought for sure he would remember it. Nope, there was very little he actually remembered. I'm glad that he remembered the people, it's okay that he couldn't remember our old condo.

If anyone would like to adopt a wonderful grandma in Las Vegas I have one for you. She is so sweet, and we miss her a lot.

This lady moved in behind us right before I started chemo. She would bring me fruit and veggies from Trader Joe's every single week while I was sick so that I could stay "as healthy as possible". We spent all of the holiday's that we stayed in Vegas for with her. She is not an orthodox Jew (hence going to an un-kosher buffet on a Saturday night), but she is from Israel and speaks Hebrew. She is one of the kindest people I have ever met.

We didn't do what normal people who go to Vegas do ;). Our first stop was to the place my husband missed the most... Cardenas Grocery Store. He walked the aisles and was sad that we don't have this Mexican grocery store in Utah.

We went to our favorite pizza place, Manhattan Pizza, where you get a huge slice of cheese pizza for $2.79! Sadly... the pizza was not nearly as good as we remembered it being.

We reunited with some of Blue's old playmates. He really misses these boys... and I don't blame him! He hasn't yet found great friends like this up in Utah, so it was fun to play with them for a while.

 One of my favorite parts of the trip was to see some of my best friends hold my little baby and giving them huge, long overdue hugs. There are a few women who were such a huge part of my life when things were so hard. They were there for the whole thing... and they are who stood by me through the thick and the thin of it. They have seen me at my worst and pulled me up to higher ground, and I owe a lot to these ladies. There are others I could have had this moment with, but the two that I did were Crystal and Heidi. By far one of the best moments of my life was seeing them hold my little miracle boy. Thank you ladies, for being my friends and taking care of us! This was a full circle moment in my life... love you both!

 And it is no secret that I love to look at old pictures from when I was sick/bald and recreate them. I don't know why I like to do it, other than it reminds me that life goes on, and things get better. My friend Crystal had this little girl the same week that I finished chemo. When I went to meet her she had a head full of hair and I was so jealous!! Crystal requested that we take another one now... which was super fun! We now both have long hair... but I'm the only one with a natural bump-it (come on... it's totally obvious that my head is mis-shaped. Thankfully it just gives me volume now).

 

I'm so glad we were able to get away for a few days to go and do this. I miss Las Vegas a lot... mostly the good people that we met there. It really lifted my spirits to see so many wonderful people in my life. Thank you everyone for having a fun weekend with us!