Thirty...

Cuddling my boys... my last day being 29.

 

I spent the last few days of my twenties in one of the most beautiful places in the world. Golden leaves, crisp air, dirt roads, and snow!!! It was pretty cold the first few days but then everything melted and the beautiful fall scenery came out.

I've come to terms with the fact that my birthday falls on the deer hunt every year. Instead of being mad that my husband is totally preoccupied with hunting that week, I try to go along so that Trent doesn't have to pick between me and the hunt. I get to enjoy being in a place that I love and relax while he goes and does his thing during the day. We weren't really able to go out and do too many walks/hikes like I had hoped because I didn't want the baby to get too cold. Instead we sat around the fire in the cabin and mostly cuddled Baby G while the kids played.

I found my thoughts centering around my life, this stage in my life, and the fact that I was turning the big 30 that weekend. Ahhhh.... thirty. I'm happy to be thirty. I guess I feel like I should really be an adult now... or something like that. I've been thinking about what I want my life to be like in my thirties as opposed to what they were like in my twenties.

Two things seem to hit home the most. The first is that I spent most of my twenties longing for babies. Longing to be a mother. One of my biggest challenges in my twenties was getting these boys here to our family. I've spent the last four years of my life hoping/longing/pleading to have another baby. And here he is... I have this beautiful boy in my arms. Such a weight has been lifted from my heart. I'm relieved that I wont be longing for a baby this year. That I will be taking care of a baby instead.

 

With that comes the second thing... I've been pretty sad and depressed while longing for this baby. I haven't taken care of my body the way that I should have. I justified a lot of poor choices (yes I mean food choices) because I was trying to fill a big void in my life. With just having a baby and turning 30 I'm finding myself really wanting to take better care of my body. I'm not the young 24 year old I was when I had Blue and I can already tell I'm going to have to work a lot harder to get this baby weight off. I guess I'm accepting that I'm getting a bit older and I need to make healthy eating a bigger priority.

Because I now have two boys who call me mom, and they deserve the very best of me...

 

So our weekend in a sentence... Husband got his deer, I turned 30, Blue built his first snowman of the season, and Baby G did his first 7 hour stretch of sleeping. Life is good! Life is full of beautiful things right now. Thirty is going to be great... I can feel it!