I resolve... to live.

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There are so many different changes I would like to make and goals I would like to accomplish that it leaves my head spinning to think about it. I have a long way to go to be the person that I want to be... that's for sure. But one thing that keep coming to mind is that I don't feel like I'm really living my life. I feel like I'm letting life live me (if that makes any sense). I'm not molding my life to be what I want, I'm letting other people and situations mold it all for me. I used to be really spontaneous and up for adventure. Not so much anymore. I've fallen into a rut over the past few years and I've somehow decided that it's easier and safer to just sit back and do... well, not much. I do far more going through the motions that actual "living" and that is something that I want to change.

 

So instead of setting resolutions I wanted to pick one word that I can focus on this year. And that word is LIVE.

 

Not just exist. Not just shuffle around my life, but live.

 

So what does this mean to me? This means that instead of being the last person to roll out of bed and wish for the next hour that I was still sleeping (it happens almost everyday), I want to welcome each day as a chance to really live my life! Wake up happy to greet my family. Make good, healthy food instead of directing them to pour their own cold cereal. Plan fun adventures for us, instead of just sitting on the couch and watching TV. Getting outside whenever we can and living life in nature. Opening my curtains and letting the light in instead of worrying about who might see in my windows. Having a good attitude about what we are doing and actually plan fun things to do.

 

Yesterday was the first of the year and I was already able to put my "live" mantra into action. Trent had the day off and wanted to go ice fishing. I have to admit that ice fishing isn't my favorite activity to do because I really hate being super cold. But I decided to try and make it a fun family outing and to not complain/sit in the car/wish I was somewhere else the whole time. So we all bundled up and made our way up to the frozen lake. We all climbed down the hill and sat around the poles waiting for the fish to bite. It was beautiful. Yes it was cold but not too bad at all. Sure it would have been easier to just stay home and send Trent and Blue up there, because really there are more comfortable places to breast feed a baby than sitting on a bucket on a frozen lake. Or it would have been easier to just sit in the car with the baby... but I reminded myself that I want to live, not just exist.

 

 

 

 In order to get onto the ice we all had to cross this... Oy!

 

It turned out to be such a beautiful day. Surrounded by the beautiful earth. Spending time with my loved ones and making memories with them. I'm so glad that I did it.

 

I plan on putting the word "live" somewhere that I will see it everyday to remind me of my goal, and what I would like my focus to be this year. Hopefully each day, and by the end of the year, I will have lots of great experiences and memories and feel more fulfilled in my life. I wont be able to look back at the year and think, "Man that went by fast. What did I do again this year?"

 

Like I said, there is a lot I would like to change and do this year, but it all boils down to really living my life with purpose and intent, and to not let life live me.