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I've been in bed sick for the past oh.... 4 days or so. I feel like such a baby. I wish that I was out having a fun time with my boys like we had in this picture here. One of my favorite pictures of us ever...

I'm not deathly ill which is why I feel like such a baby. I have a cold. Whoopie. Little dude has the same cold and is chipper and running all over the place. But not me. I'm sleeping 15 hours a day if I can and miserable. I blame it on having cancer. My immune system is just not like it used to be. I feel like I catch everything that comes my way and it hits me hard. Stupid cold.

I just have a hard time being debilitated by sickness. After spending a year of my life in bed I hate having to give anymore of my time to such things. But I know if I will just slow down and take care of myself that this will pass. It is just a stupid cold after all.

I was feeling down this morning. I have a lot on my plate this next week and need to get better so that I can do some things. I skipped out on sacrament meeting so I could rest and went to primary so that we could work on a few songs we need to sing at the Christmas party this week (have I mentioned I'm the primary chorister in my ward... yes I am). I sat down in the back of the room to wait for my time to come up and a lady I have never met before came and sat down beside me.

Let me back up a titch... Trent and I spoke in church last month. My topic was about friendshipping. I kept feeling like I needed to talk about the awesome and amazing friends that I met in Las Vegas that friendshipped me and helped us get through the hardest time in our lives. But in order to do this I felt like I needed to mention to my ward that I had cancer. You see, I had not told anyone in my ward that I was in remission for cancer because I didn't want to be known as "the girl who had cancer". I just wanted to be known as Meg, and have people get to know me. So I resisted this for a while, but then came to the realization that having had cancer is now a part of me. It was such a significant event in my life that it changed me, and has become a part of my life and who I am now. Maybe it wasn't so bad for the people in my new ward to know that we had been through that. So I did talk about it, and when I sat down after my talk I felt a lot of peace and felt good about the message that I had tried to share.

So today as I dragged myself out of bed and sat in the back of the primary room, this lovely lady came and sat by me. She told me the most amazing story. She told me about how she wasn't there the week I spoke in church but that her husband and told her about my talk and she felt like she needed to come and talk to me. She told me her cancer story. She then told me that she doesn't do this often, that she is shy and she doesn't like to talk to people about having cancer very often. She also told me that she felt very strongly when she saw me sitting there today that she needed to tell me about her three miracle babies that she had after she went through her first fight with cancer.

We talked and cried for an hour. Me and this lady who was a stranger before this moment. She has no clue what has happened in my life other than I had cancer. She doesn't know about Clayton or my ectopic pregnancy, or the 4 pills I take each day with the hopes that they will somehow miraculously help me to conceive a baby. It was a huge tender mercy to me to sit and talk to her today.

We even talked about how we both will spend this winter sick more often than we would like because that's just part of the package you know. I get to look into her little children's beautiful faces each week as I teach them primary songs. These three miracle children that came into their lives after doctors told them that they would never be able to have babies again.

I'm grateful that she came out of her comfort zone to talk to me today. To give me a little hope. Because honestly, sometimes I just want to take hope and wad it up in a ball and throw it in the garbage. Sometimes I just want to give up having hope, because hope is so hard. 

I'm grateful for good people. I'm grateful for tender mercies like this that help me to take a deep breath and pull myself out of my funks. I'm grateful that we were lead to this area to live right now. I'm grateful that even though 3 hours of uninterrupted sleep sounded so appealing today, that I went to church to be taught by the spirit. Even though I sluffed sacrament meeting, the spirit was there to teach me in the back corner of the primary room with a new lovely friend.