Bread or Baby?

 

Hi my name is Meg... and it's been 14 days since I've had a baked treat.

And that last treat was a pumpkin chocolate chip cookie...

I grabbed it on my way out the door to my appointment. I had every intention of eating a good breakfast that morning, but time got away from me and I needed to grab something quick to make it there on time. I finished it before I even left the neighborhood. I almost turned around to go get the other two that I'd left on the counter but I knew if I did I would be late. So I did not... and I completely regret that now.

I had been told a few months before upon the confirmation of my PCOS that I needed to change my diet. But I had put it off. It was birthday season after all. And turns out I'm a complete emotional eater and took up quite the Dr. Pepper habit after my ectopic pregnancy in August. Every day I said, "tomorrow I will eat better" but it never happened.

Laying back on the hard table having an ultrasound done to see the state of my poor ovary the need for this change was confirmed. My midwife said, "Good news, your ovary is back to normal. But it's very polycystic. We need to make some major changes here to help you have a baby."

Then she said something that no health care provider has ever said to me before.

"How's your weight and eating going? {flipping through her notes}. You've gained 3 lbs since I saw you two months ago. You haven't changed your diet yet have you?"

I told her what I believed to be true. That I felt like I was completely addicted to sugar. I eat it everyday. I feel like I'm addicted to crack (not that I know what that would be like but I'm sure it's close).

Then we had the conversation that immediately got me off of this sugary substance...

"No more. You can't do it. Sugar is so hard on your body, especially on girls with PCOS. You need to cut all sugar. No honey, no agave. Nothing baked. No bread. No potatoes. No starchy foods whatsoever. You also need to be eating protein four times a day. Oh... and no cheating. This is not a diet to lose weight, you have to do this everyday. You don't get a cheat day or a cheat meal... this is everyday."

Next week is Halloween... I dared to mutter.

"You're right! And then Thanksgiving, and Christmas, and Valentines Day... then throw in all the birthday's that happen. There is never a good time of the year to make a change like this. You have to do it right now. Today. This second."

 I looked her in the eye and said, "Okay, this is it. No more."

I'm not sure what it was that flipped the switch for me, but I really did decide in that minute that I was going to completely change my diet and see if this will work. There are lots of things that we are trying right now to help me get pregnant, but this is one thing that rests completely on my shoulders. Every time I open my mouth and eat food I say to myself:

"Do you want bread, or a baby?"
"Do you want a donut, or a baby?"
"Do you want pop, or a baby?"

Baby has won out every single time.

I'm so grateful that I had a full five days of doing this before the first Halloween party hit. It was hard, standing there looking at the delicious spread on the table and not being able to eat a single thing. I almost cried tears of joy when my sister in law came in with a plate of deviled eggs (thank you Nicole!!!) and I was finally able to eat something that wouldn't be cheating.

Halloween was fine. I am still in awe that I sat around our house for days with candy everywhere and did not take a single bite. I love candy. But I want a baby more. It really took about a week and now I am not tempted at all to eat these things.

Something else I feel I need to mention. I pray. A lot. I pray that I will be able to resist food temptations. That I will be able to stick with this and eat healthy. I think that has made a world of difference as I've gone through this change.

So here's the deal. Girls with PCOS have higher levels of a male hormone (androgen's) which causes them to not ovulate, have irregular periods, gain weight, have acne... etc, etc. There is also a link to insulin resistance which they think causes this hormone problem. So eating a low glycemic diet and taking a diabetic medication (yep... on that too) is suppose to help girls like me get pregnant.

I've bought a book called The Glycemic Index for Dummies and now that I've learned a little bit more about it it's not so bad. For example, I can have dark chocolate!!! Hallelujah! At the end of the day when I've been super good all day and eaten what I'm suppose to I get a tablespoon of peanut butter and cover it in dark chocolate chips. It's pure heaven people.

As of today I am even down 7 lbs. The weight is literally melting off. This weight I've been carrying for three years is melting away!!! And to think this is all because of bread and sugar!?! Insane...

I've always tried to eat healthy, and I thought that I was being healthy by eating whole wheat bread. I ate a lot of bread. For breakfast I used to have whole wheat toast with peanut butter and fruit. Lunch, a sandwich. Dinner a lot of the time would be whole wheat pasta or something in a whole wheat tortilla. Turns out whole wheat is just as bad as white when it comes to raising your insulin levels. I had no clue. It makes me sad to think that this could be part of what has kept us from having more kids in the last 1 1/2 years. Something as "healthy" as whole wheat bread...

I've always been against diets that make you cut out food groups (like the Atkin's diet). So I just want to clarify that I am not cutting out carbs. I'm just cutting out carbs that have a high glycemic index. I still eat oatmeal and brown rice daily. I eat quinoa. I've made naan with spelt (a low GI grain). So I am not cutting all carbs. Our bodies need carbs, so I'm learning about what ones I can have and what I can't.

I realize that this might not be a "cure all" for me, but we're giving it a shot. And even if I'm not able to have a baby this will make me healthier, help me lose weight, and hopefully help me be a better mom and wife for my family.

So I'm saying goodbye to my runs through the McDonald's drive through to get a Dr. Pepper. Goodbye york peppermint patties that jump into my pile of groceries on the conveyor belt at the grocery store. Goodbye whole wheat bread. Goodbye Twix. Goodbye my beloved pumpkin chocolate chip cookies... Goodbye, and good riddance!

photo from here