I have temporarily fallen off the wagon.... geez.
I had a rough little while there emotionally and it threw me completely off my diet. As in, my husband knew I was feeling blue and bought me a lemon delight cake from Costco and I spent the whole weekend eating a whole cake... that kind of falling off the wagon.
I still believe in my eat sweets on the weekend stuff, but I don't think that eating a WHOLE ENTIRE CAKE is what I had in mind.
I've had a hard time getting back on track ever since. Emotional eating is a rough rough rough thing. You know, that's what got me into this mess (this gained 25 lbs mess) in the first place. And something that I'm finding super difficult is that the emotions are still all there. The hard times are still there, I'm just trying to not eat my way through them which I'm having a hard time with.
I thought that it was a great time to start trying to lose weight because I was not on chemo anymore so health wise it was a good time to start. But all the emotions of losing a baby and having cancer are still there, and I have a hard time coping with it all when I go through one of my moods. I'm still trying to figure out how to deal with my emotions without including food in the mix. It's rough sometimes...
So I haven't gained any weight from my escapades, but I haven't lost any either. I think that I will keep one foot in the wagon and one out of it over the holiday weekend, and then get back on track... because I'm not giving up yet!
oh meg, i totally feel you.
ReplyDelete'08 was a rough year for me and i ate my way out of it. then bad habits formed, and i'm stil fighting the fight. it's ugly.
and where the heck does emotional eating come from anyways??? where in the world does our psyche get the idea that a hunk of chocolate will make us feel better? you know it's a psychological fact... you're temporarily happier when you eat fat/sugar.
anyways, i know you can beat this. you're one of the strongest women i know. LOVE YA!!!!
i know the feeling too and i have never been through what you have. when i am in the pit of eating eating eating - i have to surround myself with tons of good cheese, almonds, fruit, sugar snap peas and baby carrots, hummus, peppers, wheat crackers, honest to goodness granola and then let myself eat and eat if i want and feel confident that at least i am putting value into my body... even if i am putting in a lot of it! ;) easier said than done, but it helps. i will also try and sip cold water all day and when i just can't resist- GET OUT OF THE HOUSE and have as much fun as possible with the kids. Or buy something. It sounds backwards but it fulfills some sort of emotional "treat myself" need without making my waistline bigger.
ReplyDeleteGO MEG GO! You are so so very strong.
Meg darling, I'm pretty sure I'd eat on of those cakes whether there was emotion involved or not. I love costoc's bakery. Have 'fun' this weekend and I'm sure you'll make up for it later. :D
ReplyDeleteI can (and have) eaten a whole costco cake. It happens. Cancer made me much more aware of the kinds of foods I am eating, but I am still very much an emotional eater. It's tough. Food tastes and feels so good:) Remember too that you are pretty fresh off the cancer thing. You're body will probably be tired and sluggish for awhile still, so take it easy on yourself emotionally and give yourself some time to bounce back. Maybe you don't want to hear this but...it took me a whole year. Dam* cancer.
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