Marilyn...

Michelle Williams as Marilyn...

I loved reading through this Vogue article about Michelle Williams who is playing Marilyn Monroe in a new movie, My Week with Marilyn.

Something you should maybe know about me... I really love Marilyn Monroe.

I've loved her since I was in junior high. In 7th grade we had to pick a historical figure to research and do a little prepared speech about. We then had to dress up like the person we chose and had a "history night" with all of our parents invited where we presented our speeches. I chose Marilyn. I'm glad that my mother didn't try to shy me away from this or question my motives. I've read quite a few biographies about her and have always been really fascinated by her life. A pretty girl who started out as Norma Jean Baker, and turned into one of the biggest icons of her time, Marilyn.

So I was a little giddy yesterday when I realized there would be a movie made about her! It's about time! Sadly... we have to wait until November 4th for it to come out.

I almost hesitated to write this because I realize that Marilyn is not the best example for a lot of things in life. She was addicted to drugs, had pretty loose morals, etc, etc. So why is it that I like Marilyn?

I like that she was a beautiful woman. To me she just exudes femininity. She was not some skinny waif of a girl (not that there is anything wrong with that... if it's your natural body type). She embraced her curvy, full body and she worked it! I loved the dresses that she wore and her red lipstick. Michelle Williams says in the article that she had to gain weight and still pad her hips with padding to look like Marilyn. I wish there were more "female idols" today that looked like curvy, real, women.

Many date nights with me and my hubs have been spent curled up on the couch, watching old Marilyn movies, my favorite being The Seven Year Itch. I can't wait to see this movie about her...

This boy...

This little boy of mine really loves Dora... and I'm totally cool with that!

He also really loves girls, and is always pointing out when he sees a pretty girl... I'm okay with that too.

Except for when he goes up to a cute girl {lady really} at Costco and tells her that she has a cute bum... not so okay with that one.

Happy day...

me, my hubs, and his dad

Today was one of the happiest days of my life!!! My cute husband graduated from Nursing School today. It's been a crazy ride, but I am just gushing in pride today for all that he has accomplished. Just for kicks I want to go through what it took to get to this point.

 - About 2 1/2 years ago he decided that he wanted to become either a Nurse Practitioner or a Nurse Anesthetist. Both of those career choices require you to first have a bachelor's degree in Nursing. He had already gotten his bachelor's degree in Biology so in order to do this he had to go back and get a second bachelor degree in Nursing. We knew it would be a long hall but worth it in the end, so we searched out the best option for us. There were a few classes that he was lacking to apply to a nursing program so we decided he would go to class at night after working full time to get this done.
 - Three days after our baby Clayton died he started his pre-req classes. It was hard to have him gone 12+ hours a day between work and school so soon after losing our baby, but we didn't want that to stop us from going forward with this.
 - He continued to work during the day and go to class at night after I was diagnosed with cancer and was going through chemo. That was brutal. It was really hard to have him gone all the time and try to take care of our boy, but we kept on going.
 - He started applying to nursing programs about halfway through my chemo treatments. He was accepted to an accelerated nursing program the same month that I finished my treatments. Nursing school usually takes two years to complete. The program he was accepted to was specifically for students who already had a bachelor degree and were getting a second degree, and this program could be completed in one year. We decided to go ahead with it, even though it meant that he would have to quit his job and I would have to get a job in order to make it work.
- I started working about 2 weeks before he started nursing school. I waited as long as I could. I was 4 months out of chemo and my hair was about 1 inch long :). But I think I did a good job fooling my new coworkers. I didn't tell any of them that I had just finished chemo until about 6 months into my job.
- For the year Trent was in school he was gone about 6 days a week... all day long! It was very intense. We saw very little of each other. I worked full time so that we could have a little money and health insurance so that I could continue to get my follow up scans. And of course we couldn't have done this without our amazing babysitters watching our boy for us. I have such awesome friends, who took in my little guy and loved him like their own.
- And today all this hard work paid off!!! HE'S DONE!!!!

I feel like this is the best thing that has happened to us in a long time... and we worked our tails off for. it. I was pretty emotional at the ceremony today. I tried not to be, but it was just such a relief to have made it through. My husband is amazing... getting awesome grades the whole time and following this through.

I'm just so proud of him... so proud of us. Happy to be done and ready to move on to the next great adventure life has in store for us.

Lessons learned from Candy Land...

My boy wanted to play Candy Land today. So we got out the game and sat down to play. Now... keep in mind he is three years old and he hasn't quite figured out how to play the game "exactly right" just yet. He started out really well, drawing a card and moving his little player to the right space. But about halfway through the game he became way more interested in drawing the cards with the pictures on them rather than the colored square. "But mom, I want to go visit the lollipop girl" or "I want to go see the candy cane forest." He had completely lost interest in trekking along and making it to the end of the game, but wanted to jump around and see the sights, regardless of if it put him back to square one.

At one point I caught myself wanting to say, "No, that's not how the game is played. You need to make it to the end, to the castle." The point of the game is not to go see all these other sites.... or is it?

My own little life flashed before my eyes. Here we are, in our eighth year of marriage. We do not live in a fancy big house, or have a fancy car. My husband is not well established in his career, but about to finish his second bachelor degree. We have not gone about our lives going from one colored square to the next, but have been jumping around the board for quite some time here. Some of our adventures have been grand, such as moving to Hawaii in lieu of settling down and getting established. Some adventures were not what we had planned or wanted {such as landing on the Liquorish Forest and having to go back to the beginning of the game}. But they have still been adventures, and the journey has still been a great lesson in life to us.

I look at some of our friends and family members who are way advanced in the Candy Land game and seem to be almost at "the castle" so to speak. Pulling all the practical cards and moving along. We have not taken that path. Many times I've wanted to but that is not how it has worked out for us either by our own choice or by the card we happened to draw, and that's okay.

So which is the better way to play the game? Working hard to get to "the castle" or jumping around and taking time to see all the sights? I think they are both right for different reasons and for different people.

So we played Candy Land a little differently today. We did visit the gumdrop troll looking guy, and Mrs. Peanutbrittle. We sailed down the Rainbow bridge and spent some time in the Candy Cane forest. I hope that as I continue to teach and mother my boy that I remember that there is not only one way to play any game. That however he wants to play the game, or his life, we are here for him, and want to go along for the ride.

Knitting needles...

I need to find me some incredibly large knitting needles...

How amazing is this home!!! I love all the big, chunky knitting with the rustic white and wood accents in the house. I could just curl up in that window bed and stay forever.



All images found here. Check out the whole house, it's amazing.

Fish Taco Picnic...

We took some of our friends out of the heat of the city and into our favorite meadow for some yummy fish tacos last weekend. It was so nice up there! We practically had the meadow to ourselves.

I love this meal for picnics because you can prep most of it ahead of time, and it's so good! I made all of the fillings and put them in containers to bring along.

Pico de gallo (with and without onions), shredded cabbage, black beans, grilled salmon (and whatever sauce you like).



We brought a pan and our little butane stove to cook the corn tortillas there. This was nice because they have fire restrictions in our little mountain here, but no restrictions on stoves. And these taste so much better with nice hot tortillas.

They were delicious! Which is nice because I had quite the "authentic" crowd to please...

Not sure why I even try to cook Mexican food for my Mexican friends... seriously! They said that I passed though, which is nice! I'm trying to buy back my friends love {because she deleted me as her friend on facebook.... just kidding, not really. I think she will be my friend again now...}.

Entertainment for the kidlets was riding the big wheel down the hill...

And throwing rocks at cans...

Nothing like a refreshing night in the mountains with good friends and some yummy food.

Pincushion...

When I lived in Hawaii I worked for a lady named Denise. She was my adopted mom in my home away from home. When she heard that I had cancer she sent me a lovely care package full of wonderful Hawaiian goodies.... one being a little coconut shell pincushion. I love that she remembered that I love to sew.

I love this pincushion. I love that it had a hard bottom and will sit on my table without rolling away. I love that it reminds me of Hawaii. I love that it was a very simple gift from someone that I love.

However... Hawaiian print is not really my thing, unfortunately. So I gave it a little makeover one day. I actually bought a glue gun for the first time in my life to get the job done. That's right, I now own a glue gun... heaven help me!

Add a little linen and some lace...

I love it! Even though my husband says it looks "grandmaish" I don't really care. Wood + Linen + Lace... lovely.

I'm back...

I think that I'm ready to come back to the blogging world... after a nice break {ahem... timeout}.

You know, sometimes I think that adults need a timeout. Some good quality time, in the corner. Not doing anything but sitting and thinking about what they have been doing and how it affects themselves and those around them. Reflection time really.

That's what I've been doing for the past few months. Having a nice timeout where I could think about my life and the things in it. Things that I love and enjoy, and things that I don't.

After two incredibly difficult years I needed some time to give myself a break. To not try and put on a "mirage" that I was doing wonderful and jumping back into life like nothing had ever happened. The truth is that I was still trying to keep up some "appearance" that I could handle immense grief, and cancer, being a wife, a mom, working full time, and all the millions of little projects that I like to do and still have any smidgen of sanity left.

It wasn't true.

Truth is, now that the drama has settled a bit in my life... I've been pretty depressed about things. And trying to pretend like I was feeling great wasn't helping me out at all. And I didn't enjoy doing the things that I once liked to do {like crafting, and blogging, and anything else for that matter}... and I didn't like living that way.

So for the past few months I've been living my life just for me and my family. Doing the very basic things that I've needed to do for us to survive. And it's been nice to simplify, and work on a craft when I felt like it and not worry about having to blog about it ;). It's been nice to not have to account for my days, or weeks, with the number of blog posts I've been able to come up with. And it's been nice to put the computer away and focus on my relationship with my husband and son. It's been nice to remember what I like to do again in life besides breathe...

But as time has unraveled this web I've been trapped in... I've come to learn that I do miss blogging. Mainly because I miss connecting with my friends in this way. I miss my friends.

And yes, friends, I'm starting to feel much better now...

So for now, I'm back. But this blog is not just going to be my "crafting" blog. It's going to be my "Meg" blog - minus family stuff. If you are my friend and you want to know how my family is doing, please call me on the phone and talk to me. Because hearing a friends voice is so much better than anything you can ever read on a computer screen {something else I learned while in timeout}.

I don't promise to post anything interesting, or to post regularly, or to entertain anyone with my ideas and thoughts on here. This is merely an extension of myself, in whatever form it takes...

... and today I think I'm ready to come out of the corner.

Hiatus...

I'm going to take a hiatus from blogging for a while and am closing down my tree shop for now. I'm hoping to be back up around Christmas time for holiday orders. Have a great spring everyone!

Meg

One year old{er}...

Yesterday was a special day for me.

One year since my last chemotherapy treatment.

I honestly can't believe that it's been a whole year. It went by pretty fast, I've been a busy girl this year. Someone told me that it would take a whole year before I really started to feel good again and they were right! I'm finally starting to feel like myself again and less like a cancer patient. I'm so grateful that I had this year to heal and recover from chemo. I still have a lot of healing to do, but I am well on my way.

I've been taking pictures of myself every few months to document my recovery this year. So the final picture is now done. I'm so glad that I did this. Sometimes it's hard to see progress when you are looking for it everyday. But looking back now I see enormous progress every few months compared to the last. I'm so happy to be where I am today instead of where I was last year on April 1st.

Here's to health, more birthdays... and great bangs!!!

Easter tree...

We made a cute little Easter tree last week. I was super easy and inexpensive...

1- Go find some old dead branches somewhere and bring them home

2- Spray paint them white

3- Arrange in a vase

4- Hang cute egg ornaments from them

I got our ornaments from the dollar bin at Target. The sequin ones are my favorite.

Baby Steps - Habits...

I'm getting close to the one year mark of when I had my last chemo treatment in a few weeks here. I can hardly believe it's been almost a year. It's been a busy year so time has gone by pretty fast. I was thinking the other day about the changes I've tried to make in my life and what habits have stuck and what haven't over the past year.

Good new habits

 - My kitchen looks a lot different. I couldn't eat fresh fruits and veggies that I couldn't peel while on chemo, so now I have a whole lot more healthy stuff kicking around than I did before. My fruit bowl used to be this white one, but we had to upgrade to the wooden bowl, and we fill it and empty it every week between the 3 of us.

 - We've replaced white flour and white rice with whole wheat flour, wild rice and quinoa. We've been incorporating quinoa in a few meals a week and we are all loving it! I do keep a little white flour around to mix in with the wheat in stuff like pizza dough and cookies. Too much wheat makes stuff too heavy sometimes. We've always loved black beans and use a lot of black beans in our meals. But one change is we've started buying them dry instead of canned and we cook up a big batch on Sunday to use throughout the week. I like to cook them with cumin and chili powder, no salt, and they are super tasty.

 - I've stuck to my green drinks in the morning on most mornings. I'm not a real great breakfast eater and it makes me happy to get in a good portion of fruit and veggies first thing in the morning. I make one about 3-4 times a week.

Habits I'm still trying to kick

 - I love sweets. This one is so hard for me. I really do feel like I'm addicted to sugar and need to have it everyday. I'm still trying to figure out a good way to kick this one to the curb but I struggle with it.

 - If I don't plan ahead, then I don't eat very healthy. The days I pack my lunch for work I eat so much better than when I run out the door empty handed, and then I eat the unhealthy stuff that they have around work.

 - Chips... oh gosh. I love chips. And they are a really easy thing to eat at work. I'm trying hard to bring other snacks so that I'm not eating chips.

 - I'm getting more consistant with exercise, but I still have a long way to go. I've been working out about 2-3 times a week. I would really like to get it up to 5-6 times.

Pillows...

I'm trying really hard to de-junk my house right now. Not an easy task... it's been a while! I've gathered up a little collection of homeless throw pillows that have been living under beds, in closets, but not on display at all because they no longer fit the decor that I have around.

Six to be exact! So I've decided to make new homes for them, or they need to go to another home! So for part of my spring cleaning I'm going to make some new covers for them and put them somewhere other than under the bed. My kidlet thinks they are just fine the way they are though.. stacked and ready to jump on.

I've already finished one of them. I've been wanting some knit pillows on the bed in our room. This was fun, but a lot of work for a little pillow! Knitting takes a long time I've found, but I love the texture and the way that it looks. Just a simple ribbed knit pillow...

For the back I knit two panels and overlapped them so that the pillow could slip inside. I measured the pillow and knit all the parts to match up to the size of the pillow. Then I just pinned and sewed them together with my machine. I worked out really well! I love the thick course yarn...

I want to do two more for the bed, probably in cream/off white. I'd really like to do a cable knit pattern, but I've yet to sew a cable knit... so I might be browsing through the thrift stores to see if I can find some cable knit sweaters I can make into pillows.

Hair inspiration...

I love Josie Bissett's hair. She has such cute short hair! I've been gathering pictures of short haircuts that I like in hopes that I can have fun with this short hair while I have it. I think in just a couple of months my hair will be long enough to pull off this look!

I never thought this day would come but I think it's about time to break out the flat iron again. That will be a good day...

Baby Steps- It's not about being skinny...

I'm still here... plugging along. Trying to figure out how to get myself back to what I would like to be. I had a great discovery this last week that I wanted to share. It's pretty simple, but has caused me to think really differently about trying to get back into shape.

The thought is that it's really not about being skinny. It's about being healthy.

Of course I would like to be "skinny", but as I've been trying to loose weight and get in shape I've noticed that when I think about being skinny, I find myself wanting to do things that are not really healthy to get there. I also find myself feeling like by trying to get "skinny" that means that I am not skinny now, that I'm not good enough the way I am now. Which is a really self defeating thought you know. And thoughts like that don't make me want to try really hard, so it's pretty counter productive. When I think about being skinny I think about the way that I look instead of what's really going on inside of my body.

I've found that when I think about being healthy, a whole new world opens up that is a good positive place to be. Suddenly my thoughts turn to if I'm getting enough sleep at night, if I'm using and working my muscles everyday so that they can be stretched and challenged. If I'm eating things that are really going to feed and nourish my body instead of just putting empty calories in there.

Where I work I get to see really sick people all day long. Something that has been surprising to me is that it really doesn't seem to matter what size you are to what health problems a person can encounter. I've seen some really tiny people with a whole host of health problems. High blood pressure and cholesterol, renal failure, missing toes and limbs from diabetes. I think that sometimes we feel like if we can keep our weight in check but still eat whatever we want and not really take care of our bodies that it will be okay... but I don't think that it really works that way in the end.
So I did something this week that I feel pretty good about. I put my scale away. It no longer sits on my bathroom floor, tempting me to step on it to see if I've been successful this week or not (usually not). Instead, I'm really trying hard to think about what I can do to make my body healthy. What things do I need to eat so that I can be healthy... It feels so good to have this refocus, this mini breakthrough for me.

But now I'm curious. What things do you do to be HEALTHY? And what does being healthy mean to you?