Baby Steps - Start where you are...

Just pretend like this is my before shot... photo from here.

I haven't talked a lot about having cancer on this blog here (trust me though, I've talked plenty about it everywhere else in my life). I mentioned it a time or two but I really tried to keep this blog free from my crazy life for two reasons...





1- This was my happy place. This is where I would share cute things I liked or things I had made and it was nice and fresh, not clouded with the reality of my life at the time.


2- I did something that was a little insane. I decided to try and start selling my family trees a month after I started chemotherapy. This was something that I'm so glad I did, because it gave me something fun to focus on other than being sick. It was something I could do even though I was sick. There were times I worried that I wouldn't be able to fill the orders if it was a rough week, but I always managed to do so, and it was a huge blessing in my life. I didn't want to talk about having cancer on this blog because I didn't want people to buy trees from me because they felt sorry for me. I wanted them to buy trees because they loved the trees!!! So that's another main reason why I didn't want to talk about it over here.





Now that the crazy part is over and I'm onto the recovery part, I feel like that deserves a spot in my "happy place". It's so nice to be back on my feet and doing the things that I love and enjoy again!!!





Before I lost my baby and found out I had cancer, I was quite the exercise/nutrition enthusiast. My degree is in Exercise Science and I have big dreams of getting a Masters degree in Nutrition someday. I used to write a little ditty on my family blog every Friday called "Fitness Friday" where I would post exercise and nutrition tips. I want to continue to do that now, but with a little different slant.





I feel like my "credentials" (like I really even had any) have been totally sunk in a lake. I've spent the last year of my life sitting on the couch or in bed, eating to my hearts content. So I think that I'm going to resume my fitness talk every Friday over here called "Baby Steps". I'm really excited about documenting my road back to good health in this way. I think that it will encourage me to keep doing what I need to do to be healthy again.





So here we are!!! I wanted to write a little bit today about starting where you are. The past few weeks that I've been feeling better I've been trying to exercise more and get my energy back. It's been hard. It's hard to think that three years ago I ran an 8 mile race, and today I can't even jog for more than five minutes. I found that I tried to jump right back into running three days a week and weight training like I used to, but I just can't do it. Not only can I not do that, I can't even exercise two days in a row.... it just puts me right back on the couch with a bag of chocolate chips because I just don't have the energy to do that right now. (Do you keep a bag of chocolate chips in your freezer to munch on everyday too? I guess we will talk about that later).





The thought for this week then is to start where you are! Maybe you used to be a jock in high school or swam on the swim team. Maybe it's been a few years since you even laced up a pair of running shoes. That's okay! You start where you are now!





Here is where I am now. I am 26 years old. I haven't consistently exercised in over a year. I have a two year old boy so I have to be creative with how I find time to get my exercise done anyway. I have gained 25 lbs in the last year. I am two months out of chemo and am just starting to get my energy back from that. I also have not told myself no to any sweets or junk food in this last year (might have something to do with the 25 lb weight gain don't you think)? This is where I am right now. This is my starting ground.





I think that it's important to recognize and embrace where you are right now. This way you can make realistic goals for yourself instead of being too hard on yourself right off the bat. As I am writing this out I realize how ridiculous it is that I even assumed I would be able to jump right back into exercise. So instead I am going to take a deep breath, and set some goals I can actually accomplish instead of feeling like a failure.





My goal for the next few weeks is to walk for 20 minutes/ 3 times a week. If I feel like jogging a little and walking a little, that's great. But that is my starting ground. No weight training, no pressure to do more than this. Just get started.





What are your "realistic" goals for the next week? Where are you starting from?





And a little food for thought:

A journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step.

- Confucius

Hanging trees...

I've been busy the last week or so hanging pictures up around my house. Things are looking a lot better around here I have to say. I love seeing our cute family on the walls.

Along with hanging family pictures I finally got around to hanging my own trees up on the wall. These are trees for my boys that are hung in my sons room.

I love our family tree. The frame is from IKEA and the mat is from Michaels. I had to trim it down a bit to fit the frame but I think that it looks really nice. Sorry for the bad glare... I am no photographer that's for sure.

365...

It has now been 365 days since I learned...

...what it meant to have my heart broken in a million pieces.

...that not all prayers are answered the way I would like them to be.

...that it's still possible to be happy and have a good life even when things don't go the way you would like them to go.

... that you can lose a baby even if you've made it past the 12 week zone.

... that Heavenly Father's plan is perfect, even if I don't understand it all the time.

***

White daisies wrapped in brown paper seemed like the right combination to lay on the newly sprouting green grass on his grave.

***

We sure love and miss you little Clayton.

Love, Mom

Tree hooks...

I've had these tree hooks sitting around my house for months and months... I finally got them put up on the walls/doors (okay, I had little to do with it. Husband lost a bet and this is what I wanted him to do as payment).

Our friend Paul lives up in the mountains. When he came down for Thanksgiving he asked if there was anything he could bring down that I wanted from Utah. Yep, some tree hooks. So he cut these out of the trees himself. I love them! I think they are adorable! I have one more that needs to go somewhere but can't decide where to put it...

Fresh Start...

The back of my head... swirl and all.

We went on a nice drive this weekend for Mother's Day. It was so fun to see all of the wildflowers along the highway, the new baby animals in the fields... A nice spring drive always feels so refreshing to me.

It made me think a lot about my life right now. I sort of feel like a brand new flower peeking out of the earth. I feel like I'm seeing many things with new eyes. I feel very humbled to be given a fresh start in so many different ways in my life right now.

One very apparent way that I am starting over is this head of new baby hair that I'm growing. I took some pictures of the back of my head and I was so happy to see that there really is hair back there!!! It's been a while. And I'm relieved that it is still blonde.

Over this past year of trial I've been thinking a lot about my life. The things that are in it that I love, the things that are in it that really shouldn't be. The things that I really want to be in my life that are not, mainly because I haven't put forth the effort to have them there. It's time to start fresh, it's time to weed out all of the unnecessary things and put in the things that are truly so important. Here are a few things that need to be part of my life more::

- I want to spend more time outside. The sun gives me energy, makes me feel warm and alive. I want to spend more time out there with my family.

- Time to get rid of all the junk food that I've been filling my body with and eat good healthy food. I've been trying to do this more and more, but this last week I literally threw out all the junk. We now have a huge bowl full of fruits and veggies and are switching our diets to a more plant based diet.

- I want to wear more skirts. I want to feel more feminine. There is nothing like being bald to make you feel not so girly...

- I want to have less things in my house. I just want to have what's necessary. I feel like I have too much stuff lying around and it's just weighing me down.

- I want to put more pictures up on the wall. Right this second I have a total of 5 pictures up in my whole house. If home is where your heart is then I want my home to reflect my heart...

- I want to not be so hard on myself. I don't have to be the best at everything, I just have to do what I love to do and what I am good at and forgive myself for the rest.

- I want my husband and son to know that they are the most important things in my life. More important than a show on tv, or the computer, or whatever it is that I spend my precious time doing instead of spending it with them. Times when we are all together is family time, not time to be distracted by other things.

- I want other people in my life to know that they are important to me. I want to spend more time listening to others and less time talking about myself.

I think that's a pretty good list for now. I'm grateful for this fresh start in life.

What things do you wish were a bigger part of your life that aren't right now?

Marta Writes Giveaway...

So sorry for my lack of blogging... the sad story is that my hard drive died. Lost everything on there. I think I last backed up my computer a year ago? Not sure... it's sad. Thank goodness for blogs, facebook, and e-mails that have pictures so not all hope is lost ;). If you're reading this... go back up your computer!!! Thanks! Blogging will resume when I no longer have to go to the public library for my Internet needs. Fingers are crossed for next week.

On a happier note, another tree giveaway for Mother's Day! Head on over to Marta Writes, the giveaway is for today only. Hang out there for a while if you go, another lovely blog full of inspiration. Thanks again Marta!

Sherbet Blossom Giveaway...

I'm giving away one of my trees over on my cute friend Hannah's blog, Sherbet Blossom, this week for Mother's Day. You have until Thursday, April 15th to enter.


If you're not already reading Hannah's blog you should be! She is so creative and always has the cutest ideas. She's doing lots of awesome giveaways for Mother's Day so head on over!! You wont be disappointed!!!

Hexagon quilt...

I have always, always, always wanted to make a hexagon quilt. I think they are so beautiful! The epitome of a vintage quilt to me...

However, I never thought that I would actually ever get around to making one. It's all the hand stitching... I just don't think that I'm cut out for it. But now my dreams of making a hexagon quilt can become a reality and I'm thrilled! I found a wonderful little online tutorial from Lady Harvatine on how to make a machine sewn hexagon quilt.

So yes, I'm excited! I'm thinking of doing a yellow and white one, sporadic, no flower patterns or anything like that... something to fold up and put on the foot of our guest bed. I'll let you now how it goes!

photo from Flickr...

Mother's Day Sale...

I'm having a little Mother's Day Sale in my shop this month! From now until May 1st you can purchase any two family trees for $40!

Also, FREE SHIPPING on all Family Tree's for Mother's Day.

Go show your mama (or youself) some love...

Ties...

Back in the day I used to dream about having a little girl... I would dream of all the cute little dresses I would sew for her to wear to church. With little matching bumpers. She would be such a darling little girl with all her homemade frills...

Well, I have a boy. Maybe someday I will have a girl, but I have a darling little boy that I love beyond belief. But honestly, I have not done my part in dressing up the little boy for church. He's just sort of worn whatever hand me downs we had. I just have never had the same desire to deck out the little guy for church.

Until now... I'm repenting.

I love this little tie pattern from Make It and Love It. I had to cut down a few trees to print it out (40 pages!!!) but it really is such a great detailed pattern. I loved picking out the different fabrics and colors for the ties. So cute! I've decided that sewing for a little boy isn't that bad. It's just different than what I had pictured. But no worries, I've already picked up a little suit pattern... maybe for Christmas? He's going to be such a stud at church...

Songs...

Last week I was thinking about what it was I used to do on the internet before there were... BLOGS!! Seriously! I feel like that's all I do online now days is look at blogs. They are nice and all, but what did I use to do before blogs?

I used to play the guitar... a lot. I used to search for lyrics and tab/chords online so that I could play a new song. I would then practice and practice and sit on my roommates floor and play them my "latest" song. That's what I used to do... it was a lot of fun!

I've decided to resurrect such things, I'm going to try to learn two new songs a month. The words of my old guitar teacher keep running through my head, "You only really need 15 minutes a day to get better..." I have 15 minutes a day, since I spend way more than that looking at blogs ;).

Songs I'm learning this month:

Blackbird by the Beatles (I like Sarah's version...)
Highway by Ingrid Michaelson

So what did you used to do online before there were blogs?

March...

I love a good flat...

And this spring weather is making me happy.

Not to mention I'm trying to get more in touch with my feminine side.

So there you have it, pretty pink flats for March.

I love spring...

Naturally Meg shop update...

I've been working hard on this shop update for a while. I was going to wait until next week to put the new trees in the shop but I was too excited, I couldn't wait any longer. Here's a peak at one...




Also, the original season trees got a little sprucing up, a make over if you will. I think that they are so cute...

Head on over to the shop to see the other tree goodness that is there! I'm going to be having a Mother's Day sale in a few weeks here so stay tuned for that...

I resolve...

Yes... I know that it's almost the end of February.

However... I still want to talk about my New Year's resolution!

You see, I'm a big BIG resolution kind of a girl. I love them! I can't remember a year that has gone by that I did not make a bunch of really good resolutions and stick to them.

Until now that is... I had some good ones last year. I was going to do my 72 hour kits, food storage, organize every closet in my house, get a filing cabinet and do a full filing system (okay, I got this one done, but that's it)... the list goes on.

Then because of this and this, I pretty much spent the year in bed.

I'm still in bed, who am I kidding! I've been trying to think of something that I could "resolve" to do this year that would be fun, not something that will nag at me to get done all year. Seeing that I will be spending the next few months of my life being and recovering from being a "cancer patient" I wanted to go a little easy on myself.

So here it is... my New Year's Resolution for 2010...

I'm going to buy a new pair of shoes every month.

That's it folks. That's my resolution. I think that it's a great one! Why? Well, I'm the kind of girl who usually owns three pairs of shoes... black sandals, brown sandals, and flip flops. I usually never indulge in something like a cute pair of shoes. I have a hard time buying things for myself and end up feeling like I never put my own wants first, or even second, or even at all. So here's to indulging in myself for a little bit. I'm super excited. I'm already lagging a bit because I didn't buy any for January, but that's okay. These cute black flats are for February. Love them.

Here's to turning a new leaf...

Be good to me 2010, but if your not... at least I'll have cute shoes!

Valentine garland...

A craft perfect for a two year old...

Cut out hearts from four different colors of felt.

Sew them together... the end!

These chubby two year old fingers are always wanting to play with my machine. So I decided to let him help me make this. He loved it! He was so excited to show dad what we made. I think that it's pretty cute too!